Fish out of water: Mr. Klaff on a home makeover show.

Let's get a few things straight. 1. I can't dance. 2. I don't know anything about style.

My poor wife. For years, I have dragged her to the far-out reaches of the world to film stuff about history. Once, I lied to her and said that Bratislava was a paradise. So we went. She wasn't pleased. So, here's the compromise. Her dream was to be on an HGTV makeover show. When we got the call, I agreed not to move to Ohio. We were on a show hosted by Sabrina Soto. She went through all of our stuff, and made it look better. Thankfully, they cut out all of the ridiculous things I said, so I looked only modestly inept when it came to style. On a good day, you might catch me in a rerun. Look for the guy who doesn't know what "reupholster" means.