PS -- The following was written before the Red Sox embarrassed the Yankees in 2004 -- thereby rewriting history. Still, it serves as a great guide as to why the Red Sox are superior to the Yankee$.

(Let me preface this by saying that I'm also a huge Mets fan, and former season ticket holder. True Mets fans should enjoy the following rant ...)

It boggles my mind how anyone could root for the New York Yankee$. It's like rooting for Bill Gates, or the stars to come out at night. Yankee fans are an interesting breed ... most of them were never life-long Yankee$ fans, and cater to a bandwagon of a sport they know little about. There are a few real Yankee$ fans who I can respect. As for the others, they just like to count championships to fill a void in their lives.

These days, Yankee$ fans root for clothing ... as the revolving door of players that enter the somewhat hallowed ground of the Bronx leaves a layman fan clutching for a scorecard (that since there are no names on their backs -- heck, I wouldn't want to admit that I sold out either.) For some reason, Yankee$ fans like to point out that the Red Sox have also purchased their players because they added Curt Schilling. Well, that same year the Yankee$ added perennial All-Stars A-Rod, Sheffield, Kevin Brown, and Javier Vazquez. Those four players alone make more than the Twins. Kind of takes the sport out of it, don't you think? Still, the Yankee fan gloats. Well, I will let some of you gloat, but not all ... here's my test for if you are allowed to taunt me about the Red Sox or not:

I WILL ALLOW YOU TO TAUNT ME ABOUT THE RED SOX IF YOU .....

Hated the Mets in 1986.

Know who Kevin Maas is.

Own a Tommy John baseball card.

Know what number Don Mattingly was.

Remember Andy Hawkins losing a no-hitter.

I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TAUNT ME ABOUT THE RED SOX IF YOU ......

Had no idea Roger Clemens played for them.

Can't tell a foul pole from a flag pole.

Started watching baseball in 1996.

Don't know what the infield fly is.

Own a lot of Yankee$ hats, but couldn't tell me about the Iron Horse.  

Growing up as a Red Sox fan, no one really cared about the rivalry because Steinbrenner was kicked out of baseball at that time. Yankee Stadium was empty, and everyone was a Mets fan. Things go in cycles in NY, because we are home to a lot of sore-losers who can't stick with a team through thick and thin. As for the Yankees ... tick-tock, tick-tock ... it's only a matter of time before you are all Red Sox fans!

Top 10 Reasons the Red Sox are superior:

10. Yankee$ uniforms are pinstriped which makes them look like jailbirds.

9. Fenway Park is superior to Yankee Stadium. Yankee Fans blow out of proportion the history of their ballpark, when in actuality Old Yankee Stadium was demolished in the 70s.

8. NESN beats out YES network by far.

7. Our colors are nicer.

6. How many Championships did the Yankees win in 1918? That's what I thought!

5. Boston is an old-style baseball city where fans can go out to do stuff after a game. After a Yankee night game, fans run for the hills!

4. Ted Williams is the greatest hitter of all time.

3. The Red Sox won the first World Series ever in 1903. Who cares how many you've won since.

2. The Red Sox represent all of New England. The Yankee$ represent parts of New Jersey.

1. Red Sox = two words. Yankee$ = 1.

LEARN MORE ABOUT WHY MR. KLAFF LOVES THE RED SOX BY CLICKING HERE.   

WATCH MR. KLAFF LAUGH AT YANKEE$ FANS AFTER THEY BLEW A 3-0 SERIES LEAD TO THE RED SOX IN THE 2004 ALCS. OH YEAH -- THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES THAT YEAR.